Who Is the Greatest?
At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin it would be better for him to have a great millestone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
Matthew 18:1-6 ESV
I am fully aware of what my sons’ teen years may bring. There is no lack of literature, film, and now social media that depicts this time period as unpleasant. I am reminded of a time when my middle guy had just come out of his “terrible twos” and he became a “threenager.” The play on words doesn’t even sound right, but here we have it, planting a fear in parents’ of toddlers and tweens/teens everwhere. Speaking of plants, in researching about fiddle leaf plants, I found out the following: they are fickle and finicky with very specific needs to thrive. And guess who they were compared to? You guessed it! Teenagers. And if you pick up any book that speaks to parenting in the teenage years through young adulthood, you most likely will find a number of anecdotals rebellious in nature and of teen pregnancy. At the very least, bad attitudes and moodiness are depicted–a time wrecked with hormonal angst. And it may very well be that our teenagers will have difficult years, but to see it in such a negative light? It is more fear inducing than faith inducing.
Do Not Be Fearful
I recently read a wise response from Clarissa Moll, an author, and widow to author Rob Moll. Her response was to a very difficult question on whether a women’s husband had died a believer or not and Moll said, (and I’m paraphrasing) “We always approach with hope, not despair.” She continued to reference Scripture to backup her statement about the criminal on the cross with Jesus. She mentioned that he did not have a profound theological knowledge. He did not even have a proper confession of faith, but in the criminals utterance, “Jesus remember me when You come into your kingdom,” Jesus responds, “today, you will be with me in paradise. (Luke 23:32-43)
I think her response models for us how we should enter into many difficult times and transitions in life–with hope, remembering our God who has been faithful and will continue to be. There is no circumstance that will separate us or our children from the love of God. (Romans 8:31-39) So whether we are approaching terrible twos, threenagers, teenagers, let’s take on the posture of hope, and not fear. The following are two hopeful, faith-filled, proactive ways we can do so.
Read Scripture in Context and Know Your Theology
It is not enough for our children to have only a head knowledge of Bible stories and it is not enough for us either. Theology and reading scripture in context is so important. Let me share an example as to why.
I came across an IG account under the hashtag “Christian parenting” where a woman who claimed to be “no theologian” proceeded to say the following about children and parents:
“Your child is not sinful or in need of you to control their will. You are not a representation of God’s authority to them. You are just a fallen, failing-forward human made in the image of God. But you don’t need to get your child to obey to be a faithful person.”
She proceeded to share the following Scripture as proof of her statement in the reel’s description:
“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:1-4
Let’s break it down.
Are children born sinners?
Let’s get the answer from the New City Catechism.
Scripture clearly states that all have fallen short of the glory of God, including babies and children. (Romans 3:23) And so what then of, “Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
Right away, I notice that Jesus uses the word “like '' in two places making a comparison as in a simile. The first one, “…unless you turn and become like…” He is referring to becoming child-like. Which then leads me to another thought: what then is the characteristic of a child that Jesus wants us to emulate? As the author of the above reel implies, is it really sinlessness in children that he is referring to? No, it is their dependant nature and their humility. This is confirmed in what Jesus says next “whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” But let’s just say for a second it is sinlessness that Jesus is referring to. It would mean that Jesus was saying to become greatest in heaven you must become sinless. In what way can a man become sinless? The answer is: Only through Christ. If Jesus was truly saying that children are sinless to answer the question “who is greatest in heaven?” it would mean that salvation would be to become a child again, but why would Jesus point to anything but himself? The implication itself is blasphemous and so dangerous to teach. It would change our posture toward the way we disciple our children. We would have no need for Christ, but we will always have a need for Christ.
Before discussing theology of sin, let’s discuss a bit more context.
Three of the disciples, Peter, James, and John had previously seen and experienced the Transfiguration. They were not to tell anyone of what they had seen, but in their hearts, some commentary say, they felt special and began to question who would be greatest among them. We see even in Matthew 20:23 that James and John’s mother asks Jesus if her sons can sit at the right and left hand of Jesus in heaven. (Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers) In Matthew 20, Jesus again addresses the question “who will be the greatest?” by answering in the same way,
“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:20-28)
Jesus does not answer by saying that one must be sinless, but he answers the question by saying that one must be a servant, again referring to humility. Another note to make is that each time Jesus reveals that He will die and resurrect, the question of “who will be the greatest” comes up. (Matthew 17:11-13; Matthew 17:22-23; Matthew 20:17-19) And isn’t it like us to struggle with selfish ambition even in doing God’s work. All this to say, that it is more consistent to read vs. 18:1-6 as similar to Jesus’ response in Matthew 20:26-27. Jesus is speaking about the humility of a child and he is speaking of the humility of a servant. Yes Jesus points to a characteristic in children that is good, but it is not sinlessness.
What is at Question Here is Original Sin
The following was a response to the reel in question.
There is so much to unpack here and I will prayerfully, respectfully attempt to do so. I do this exercise to demonstrate the importance of theology.
Firstly, lets identify the problem that the original reel and response are attempting to address by saying that children are sinless.
The Problem
Approaching children punitively in our parenting with expectations of obedience without taking age appropriateness, developmental stages, and discipleship as a process into consideration.
Example
Expecting young children to sit quietly during a 1.5 hour service and punishing them for not sitting still and for not being quiet.
Explanation
A 5 year old child has a very short attention span. It takes time and maturity to develop the many skills it takes to sit through a service. (Even adults have a difficult time.) Yes, we should teach the children how they are expected to behave and with grace and encouragement do so, but requiring them and punishing them for doing something they are not able to do at the moment is unjust.
However, does this mean that children are sinless? No, it just means that they are developmentally not ready to sit in worship quietly without some wiggles. If we view children as sinless, we will not preach the Gospel to them and we can do so without viewing them or calling them “wicked”. If we take on the view of children being sinless as do these two women, we are replacing the Gospel with child developmental psychology.
Original sin is not shaming, or blasphemous. It simply and merely states as in Scripture that apart from God we are all capable of wickedness. Yes, even children. It’s speaks to our hearts that are prone to wander. Timothy Sisemore, author of Our Covenant with Kids, says “…sin is more than just breaking rules willfully; it is a condition of the heart.” The commenter also seems to put more focus on the fact that children are image bearers and how they are beautifully and wonderfully made, but we must have a balanced Gospel that includes all its parts.
The Solution
What these two woman and many do with the Gospel (maybe you are one of them) is when something doesn’t make sense or doesn’t seem to be working, we change it. Sisemore writes,
“We in the West are a pragmatic bunch. Tell us how to do it and don’t slow us down with explanations. Give us the how and don’t bother with the why.”
But then, how do we know what is right and what is wrong?
We look to Scripture alone, in context, and as a whole text. We ask those around us with sound doctrine.
We struggle with the text and pray for understanding, but we do not ignore parts of the Scripture or take parts of it out of context to form and fit to our will for our convenience.
Sisemore continues,
“But humanist miss the point when they assume that because we all have some sense of what is right, we will generally follow it. They fail to appreciate how distorted our sense of morality is because of sin.”
If we are to disciple our children well, we must disciple them in the truth of the Gospel. The following is a helpful infographic I’ve made using Sisemore’s words about original sin and how it applies to discipling children.
I wholehearted recommend reading Our Covenant with Kids by Timothy Sisemore. You can purchase it at amazon, WTS Bookstore or PCA Bookstore. I’ve also seen used copies sold at thriftbooks.com.
I pray that it was helpful to see that our posture as we disciple our children should not be one of fear, but of faith. Also, I hope I was able to convey well how important it is to read Scripture in context, and with the whole Scripture in mind as well as the importance of having good theology. An understanding and knowledge of theology is important for all of us, not just those in ministry.
I have just received permission to read an excerpt from Our Covenant with Kids so please be on the look out for that. I have yet to find another book that so systematically applies sound theology to discipling children. In the meantime, I also highly recommend reading To Put on the Armor of God, We have to Take Off the 'Armor of Me': Therese of Lisieux teaches us to have childlike faith and stop protecting our vulnerabilities. An amazing read, that discusses much of what I shared today, but focusing on how we as adults can be more childlike as Christ asked us to be.
Until next time, I’ll save a seat for you at the table.
I’ve been away on vacation with the family and will resume my regularly scheduled writing for “Setting the Stage” next week. In other news, writing here has rekindled a desire in my heart to be published, as in a physical book on a shelf, which has been a long dream of mine. I submitted a poem to a publication and while I was rejected this time the editor was very encouraging and affirming. So thank you for being here and supporting my writing. I pray that it is a blessing to you and your family.
Dedicating today’s newsletter to my sister, Henna Lee, who went home to be with the Lord this week after a courageous faith-filled battle with cancer. She is survived by her husband, Simon and three beautiful children whom she loved well. She served our community as a deacon and children’s ministry director before me. Please pray for our community as we both grieve her loss, while celebrating her life and homegoing with hope in Christ. If the Spirit moves you to give to support her family financially during this difficult time, you may do so here. Thank you.