A Big Talk With My Little Girl
Lessons from the Vault
The following is a facebook memory that came up on my feed today. From when my now 9 year old had just turned 4. I’m glad that my boys taught me how not to underestimate these littles. Even if they don’t understand right away because a lot of what we share about our faith is abstract, they will one day. So it’s important to take every opportunity to share as Satan, the father of lies, will always try to plant lies in our hearts.
Had a few groundbreaking moments with this-just-turned-4-year-old today. Had a big heart to heart with all my kids today. Letting them know that if we are to continue homeschooling they must do a LOT more to help mommy out. I was speaking very "strongly" and this little girl began to laugh. I took her aside and told her that it is disrespectful to laugh when mommy is upset and talking to them about something they did wrong. She said, "mommy, I was just laughing because you were being very rude." (LOL) All of a sudden I was taken back to when I subbed for a 6th grade class and they mocked and basically ignored me the whole time. Well by the end of our conversation, she had sighed 5 times and seemed to be remorseful for what she had done. When being corrected or scolded she usually says, "but mommy..." and gives her four year old excuses. For example, we’ve been attempting to get her to stop sucking her thumb. Her excuse is, "if I don't suck my thumb my tummy hurts." She has been incapable of accepting when she has done something wrong and I've been struggling as to how to teach her to apologize and accept her wrong doing as well as any consequence I give her. But today I was able to speak truth into her little heart.
"S, it's okay to accept when you do something wrong. You don't have to lie or make excuses. That's why Jesus died on the cross for you. He forgives you and mommy forgives you if you just say sorry. We all make mistakes. We all do things wrong. Even mommy."
And she looked at me like something had clicked with this past Sunday school lesson. Tonight in her prayer, she said,
"Thank you God for making E feel better. (Her cousin who was battling cancer at the time.) Thank you that I will stop sucking my thumb. And listed some wrongdoings... Thank you God for the great job mommy is doing. (Boy, was our big God showing up at this time in her little heart and showing up for me and encouraging me.) And thank you God that S, T1, and T2 (S and her siblings) will listen to mommy."
She's growing into a little prayer warrior. I love how each statement starts with a thank you and is something that God has already done. Anyway all this to say, the struggle is real, but God in his goodness is working on all of us. And as S shows in her prayers, He's working and already finished the biggest of all works through Christ. So thankful for those who I partner with to teach our children these Gospel truths.
Fast forward to today:
She told me, “mommy, I asked my Bible study teacher, what happens if you want to believe in God, but you don’t believe yet?” I braced myself for what her answer would be to my not so little girl, and her teacher gave the perfect answer, “if you’re not sure, you should pray.” I’m thankful she feels safe to tell me and her teacher that she is still not ready to make a confession of faith. I trust that God will honor where her heart is to bring her to a true confession in His time.
She shared, “Mommy, I just don’t believe, because I’ve never seen God.”
“S, you know how you have never met your halmi (nickname for grandmother in Korean), because she died before you were born?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think she really existed?”
“Yes.”
“How come? How do you know when you’ve never seen her?”
“Because, you’re here and because you told me.”
“S, it’s similar to that. You trust me right? I tell you that God is real and I share with you why I love God. And I’m here right? I’m here because of God. In fact, you’re here because of God. Mommy was very sad and hurt because I experienced a lot of bad things when I was growing up. But God saved me. Just like I wouldn’t be here if halmi never existed, I wouldn’t be here if God didn’t either. He saved me in everyway, both physically and spiritually.”
“What bad things did you go through, mommy?”
“I can’t share that all with you now, because it’s not appropriate for you at your age, but one day, when the time is right, I will.”
And with that she ran off to hang out with her brothers. And as her teacher, told her to, I will pray with her tonight about what we talked about. Thank you, teacher Esther for the perfect answer to her questioning faith.
I’m still so very thankful for the teachers who partner with me to share the Gospel with our children. Their concern, prayers, and labor of love is so encouraging to me, we together are storing up treasure in heaven like none other. It’s such a privilege and such deep and important work. And so we pray, that the seeds planted when S was 2, 3, 4 until now, will continue to grow. We pray this for all our children.
Lord, please capture the hearts of our children and give them understanding. Through your Spirit, soften their hearts of stones, and give them new hearts and eyes to see what the world sees as foolish and crazy, but is our strength and the truth on which we stand. In Jesus name, Amen.
Until next time, I’ll save a seat for you at the table.