Humbling Hmm... Moments
A Meaningful Monday Truth Edition: I Am Unqualified
I call them uni-install moments. Because once long ago, I was having problems with my computer program and I clicked a button that read uninstall, but I read it as yooni-install and thought, “what’s that? Maybe it’ll fix the program….” Low and behold, the program disappeared, and when I asked my computer savvy younger brother (although someone savvy was not needed) to take a look and told him about the mysterious yooni-install that I thought would fix my problem, he looked at me in disbelief and said, “You mean uninstall? You uninstalled the program.” So I coined these type of moments uni-install moments, pronounced “yooni-install.” Uninstall moments have two main characteristics. They are humbling and cause me to laugh at myself.
A few years back, a dear younger sister of mine (not biological) and I decided to read a book of spiritual formation together. The book title alludes me. It wasn’t a mentor type of thing, but when we told someone about how we were going to read this book together, our friend asked, “Oh is Rosalyn mentoring you?” And before I could reply no, this dear sister adamantly said, “Oh, no no. No way,” as she laughed nervously. I just nodded and laughed an uncomfortable laugh and so did our friend. I thought, “what’s wrong with me that I can’t be a mentor?” I laugh when I think about it now, and the story doesn’t end here. A little while later, I applied for the staff position of children’s ministry director at our church and I told this dear sister that I was waiting on a reply from the church staff that they had another candidate as well. When I got the position, she told me, “God is so good. I prayed that even though you weren’t their first choice, you’d get the position.” I had never mentioned anything about not being first choice, but she assumed that I was not. I was later told by our elder that I was their first choice for a number of reasons, but I never corrected my dear sister. It just felt weird to correct her, because I honestly did feel underqualified. (I fear that she may read this, but then again, she thinks so little of me, I don’t think she would read my newsletters. She really is a dear sister that I love whom God uses to humble me and laugh at myself.) But in all honesty, the truth is, she is right: I am unqualified.
I’m reminded of my first physical fight ever, I was maybe in the 3rd grade. The little girl was not liked very much and she was picking an argument with my friends and I. She eyeballed the three of us, and picked who looked like the weakest link—me of course and said, “I want to fight you.” Pointing at me. I adamantly told her I didn’t want to fight her and ignored her, but while I had my back turned to her she came and pulled my hair to the ground. So to defend myself I fought back and while I had “won,” I cried repenting all the way home and confessed to my mom that I fought with someone.
I think of the scripture about David and Goliath and how God had chosen David, the youngest and smallest of his brothers. By man’s standards, he was unqualified, but he was willing and had faith. Above it all, God was on His side. Unlike this girl who chose me to fight as the weakest link to overpower me, God takes the weakest link to raise up so that in the end, we can say thanks be to God alone. He does this so that there is no shadow of a doubt that God is the one who saves. So many instances in scripture that point this out, look at Christ’s genealogy, look at the twelve disciples. See who Jesus spent the most time with when He walked this earth.
So my dear sister speaks truth. I am unqualified to do His work, yet God gives me the privilege to do so. He has called me, teaches me, admonishes me, humbles me, breaks me and molds me through His Spirit and He provided someone qualified to do what I could not do on my own. Christ who was sacrificed for me, intercedes for me. So bring on all the uni-install moments of the day, week, month or year! Christ is enough and I am just willing to be an instrument for His glory. He will equip me and finish the work He has started in me. (Philippians 1:6) May you find this same assurance this day as you work, parent, disciple, and minister to others. In our weakness, He is strong.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Thanks for being here, despite my disqualifications. I pray that in them, you will always see the qualified and risen Christ. Until next time, I’ll save a seat for you at the table of the disqualifed made qualified in Christ. There’s no place I’d rather be.