The Quiet "Boring" Stuff, They Do Need
Seeing Eternity and Living in the Light of It Part 3 of 4
“Our addiction to stimulation, input, and entertainment empties us out and makes us boring—unable to embrace the ordinary wonders of life in Christ.” Tish Harrison Warren
A Reminder
Last Thursday, I wrote about how sometimes we can put our children in boxes and label them certain ways. When we do this, we get distracted by goals for our children and we undermine God’s work of sanctification in their lives. We put to the forefront our expectations and our timelines and what we can see—where they are in the present. We forget to remember the things that are unseen like the Holy Spirit’s working in God’s time.
I also wanted to remind everyone of why I started this Newsletter from Setting the Stage Issue 1:
What a mountain of challenges this next generation faces! We have our work cut out for us, but despite all these challenges, I picture us rallying together to raise up the children of this next generation in the Lord. I envision us setting an eternal goal for our children . . . for our good and God’s glory. . . I pray we will together set the stage with excellence for our children to be able to one day, as adults, share their story of God’s faithfulness to those around them.
With that said, I’d like to share about another way we can be distracted as a family and lose focus on our eternity—entertainment, recreation, and extracurriculars. Oh my!
I know this is a common question for you when you travel on long trips with the kids— “Are we there yet?” But an equivalent to this question when the days are long and the children are at home is more of a statement then a question— “I’m bored.” With this statement are follow up questions.
Can I go on my tablet?
Can I go on the computer?
Can I watch . . .
For older kids, they may just go on their own phones and fill up their day with reels, YouTube, and all kinds of other content that we may or may not approve of. In the one scenario, the children are bored and just want to get to the destination. In the latter, the children are bored and just waiting to be entertained with something to do. As if their lot in life is to be entertained or to have something to do. It can be all very inward. Even in schools, teachers can give kids busy work because we know what will happen if they are bored. They will go crazy. And for anyone with a smartphone or internet access, now it is possible to fill every waking minute with content. You no longer need to wait in a waiting room with nothing to do, but a magazine to read. You can go on your smartphone and be entertained while you wait.
Another mentality that we have is to work hard and play hard. We work hard during the week so that we can play hard during the weekend. We bring this mentality to our children as well. A child’s day can be consumed with school and extracurriculars with long weekends filled with trips. And while all these things are gifts from God, we have turned them into idols and they have become a mantra of “just keep going” that fill our days devoid of the Gospel.
Just a few weeks ago, 2 out of 3 of my children were sick at home with COVID. My husband was at work and I knew it was just a matter of time before it possibly got all of us, so I grabbed my reusable shopping bags and left the house to buy lots of nourishing foods to prepare for the long week ahead. Before I left the house, I gave them all specific instructions. “You can watch a show, but don’t go on your Switch” and to my oldest “don’t go on your phone.” My youngest two actually listened and they were fine, but my oldest who was negative the day before had been on his phone and had a heating pad on himself as he said he was cold. Unbeknownst to him, he had a fever of 102. He was so distracted by his phone, he had no idea he even spiked a fever. I told him the reason why I didn’t want him on his phone is so that He can be in tuned with His body. If he had just been still and rested, he would have recognized that his body was aching and he had a fever. And isn’t this just the truest example of how busyness distracts us, both parents and children.
What are we missing while we fill our days with things to do, without rest, without giving our children downtime? What are we training them in when they can’t sit still to be quiet and be bored? How do we expect them to sit in prayer or read Scripture? What have we done when our children don’t like to be bored and describe any downtime as boring? What have we unintentionally put value in?
On the other hand, when children are given downtime to be “bored,” things tend to float to the top. Things that need to be addressed. Maybe they begin to fight with their siblings. How many times have we addressed this with, “Oh, they are just bored, let’s give them an activity” without teaching them and discipling them in conflict resolution or addressing their sins.
Do we give them everyday mundane tasks like making their beds or helping to tidy the house up. While mundane tasks are boring, there are so many benefits to this. These not only teach them life skills, but there are “ordinary wonders in these moments” says Tish Harrison Warren. She continues, “These moments are an opportunity for formation, for sanctification.” These “boring” or ordinary days are used by the Lord. Are we robbing our children of these moments by filling their days with too much? Even worldly circles see the benefits of doing less and doing quiet things with our children—birdwatching, gardening, hiking, fishing, etc. Digging in deeper, it goes beyond just mental health and physical benefits. They are moments in which children can be quiet and create, be quiet and help the family, be quiet and observe, and God is using these quiet ordinary moments to sanctify them.
Extracurriculars, entertainment, and recreational things are not bad in and of themselves, but are we using them to distract our children? Are we using them to distract ourselves? Are they idols? What message are we sending to our children about work, rest, and everyday mundane tasks? Does not God use it all to His glory and for our good?
I pray we find purpose and maybe even joy in the everyday, the mundane, and the ordinary—the “boring”—because God has called us in these things as well. Everything we do in Him bears eternal significance. These moments will cause them to be ready for every good work that is spoken of in Titus.
4 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. 8 The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people…14 And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful.
Titus 3:4-8, 14
The day I brought my mother to the doctors to check on an ulcer, I sat in the waiting area and I pulled out my phone to play the latest game I was addicted to, but I stopped myself because I thought, what if my mother is receiving bad news at this moment. I prayed instead and prepared myself for whatever news they had for us. It turned out that she had stage 4 stomach cancer. The Holy Spirit had prompted me to pray instead of being distracted, because it was a long journey ahead until her death and I believe it had set my heart upward toward our Heavenly Father before the news. In the same way, what lessons are we and our children missing out on in being busy? In what ways is distraction in entertainment, extracurriculars, and recreation forming our children? In what ways are they losing out when they don’t have these ordinary regluar everyday moments to form them. Our children need the ordinary in their days, to pause, to be formed, to be discipled, to prepare them for so many things God has in store for them. May we have more ordinary days as families!
Until next time, I’ll save you a seat at the table.